What is it about Christmas that can bring such feelings of joy…and sadness?
The day began so great. I woke, slept in past my usual hour of rushing to an early morning workout. I lounged in bed, unhurried by anything.
Plugged in my simple tree, surrounded by peace.
Plans had changed, and that was ok. I was content to be in my home, luxuriating in quiet.
Until one message very much brought up the feeling of “being alone.” I instantly recognized the change within. A sadness swept over me:
How does one know what they are missing if this is all they have ever known?
Much of my life has left me “on my own.” Not in reality, only feeling. The first sentence in my new journal begun today says, “I really am a quiet holiday gal.”
Yet, a text transported my mind to the old haunts:
No one is with me
They are happy because you are not there
You should just work; no one cares about you.
__
I’d had enough mindful attention this morning to realize I had a choice. I could go and “do.” Occupy myself.
Or I could allow the feelings, let them pass through, within.
And not maintain them.
For, the Gift of today is to step out of the “normalcy” and into the life I create.
