“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”*
Some things reach their end to make room for what asks to be tended.
I sit here tonight, very much at peace; and…tears come.
Tears of gratitude for all I have witnessed in my life–and been given.
Although my very long-term marriage ended, I daily thank(ed) God for giving me a husband who loved me as I was and thought I was beautiful. Not a day went by that he didn’t make clear his faithful love.
I share this not because I long for “what was.” I share it from a heart observing right now the shift happening within me. This feels seismic.
As a child, I felt like no one really cared, so why talk? What do I have to say? Who’s going to listen? Isn’t talking complaining? No one really wants me.
This, I have carried within, and creates havoc in relationship if I am unconsciously reacting to everything.
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Why do things have to end when I wanted more and hoped this man whom I loved would cherish my heart?
And yet…
I hear two Cyndi Lauper songs: “Time After Time” and “True Colors.” “If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting…” and “so don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colors…are beautiful, like a rainbow.”
Some people are unable — or unwilling — to meet us where we are or where we are going. Our roads diverge.
The loving thing is to recognize this and honestly part ways. That is the hope.
We don’t always get that; all we can do is remember that this is “just” a season. We have gotten through many hard things.
And we will get through this.
Never forget that the seed planted is your heart germinating.
*Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV
