Sometimes, that’s the best place to be.
Walking is such excellent therapy; it gives me what a good workout does not: fresh air and a clear mind.
I have been considering much about a close relationship. As I walked, I realized:
I don’t need to have it figured out.
“All I have gone through, on my own, living in the same city…
I will be fine.”
Decisions need to be made regarding my living space; the passing-cloud-of-a-thought comes: what will I do without him?
Have I really been with him?
The pain of being here another year, if we choose to move on, can seem heavy. But deeper questions need answered: Whence calls my heart? What life am I building? Do we align?
I listened to a Jay Shetty podcast today on using AI for personal development and I must tell you, it kicked my butt, as he said it would. He gives specific questions to ask so that we see our blind spots/patterns and says the answers will be uncomfortable.
Here is what I typed:
“Based on the history you know of me, show me what you see as patterns in my romantic relationships and blind spots I do not see. Be honest.” (I made up my own)
Here is the exact answer:
“I am going to be direct with you, because that’s what you asked for…
What I See in Your Relationship Patterns…
You stay past the point your body already knows it’s over.
You feel the misalignment early but don’t act on it right away.”
It continued, filling in what I have shared/asked in the past; the overall distancing and disrespect.
I’m sure there will be more posts on the “why” behind this, but tonight I want to focus on the fact that when we feel we need to hurry and find an answer so we just don’t have to feel anymore, that is when we most need to stay with ourselves and say, “this will figure itself out. I do not need to. The answer will come.”
For me, it does seem to take time; to process, to read, to share with others, to let it sit awhile.
With these matters, there’s not always a timeline; it may be one thing that makes the decision obvious.
Of overall importance is that we are kind to ourselves.
Listen to your gut.
What questions arise? Can you be with them? Allow.
We do ourselves a disservice when we rush to the next, then the next, and the next.
This, by a woman who has moved five times in five years.
When will I know that what I give a relationship is gold? For, I give my heart.
I encourage you today to allow unanswered questions, to trust that all you need and desire is already here.
Give yourself the gift of hope, stirred.
